But just as concern for women's equality shouldn't blind us to the various
forms of oppression men have faced in society, the experience of White male
partners of minority women shouldn't be overlooked either. Some White men
have suffered on account of their relationships - particularly marriages -
with women of other races. A well-known example was Richard Loving, who
with his Black wife Mildred successfully challenged the state of Virginia's
ban on mixed marriages (this case, it should be noted, led to the
eradication of anti-miscegenation laws throughout the United States).
Like their Caucasian female (and minority male) counterparts, White men in
mixed race unions have been subjected to stereotypes, most of which are not
very flattering. Some of these stereotypes have grounds in current or
historical reality. For example, the Sleazy White Male goes back to the
days of slavery and colonialism, while the Political Activist emerged during
the civil rights struggles of the 1960's and the GI Joe with the women's
movement of the 1970's and '80's. These stereotypes are more fiction than
fact as far as the majority of miscegenous White males are concerned.
However, in order to challenge and disprove them, it's necessary to examine
them. So here goes:
The Sleazy White Male
Sleazy White Males positively abounded during the age of European
imperialism and the days of slavery in the United States. Several factors
facilitated their emergence, not least of which was the enormous social,
economic and political power they wielded. Black female slaves, for
example, usually had no choice but to submit to the sexual demands of their
White masters. At other times women of color seemingly chose to enter into
unions with their conquerors in order to gain privileges for themselves and
their resulting children. In colonial Latin America, for instance, many
Indian women sought to become pregnant by Spanish men because mestizo
children were exempt from the taxes imposed on Indians and occasionally
received other benefits for being half-White. But even in this case the
woman's "consent" to such relationships was somewhat doubtful.
Nonetheless, Sleazy White Males often took a "devil made me do it" approach
to their escapades with women of other races. The devil in this case was
the woman in question: she tempted him. Nineteenth-century commentator
Sinibaldo de Mas used this theory to explain why so many Spanish priests in
the Philippines fell into sin with native women: "the garb of the native
women is very seductive and girls, far from being unattainable, regard
themselves as lucky to attract the attention of the curate... what virtue
and stoicism does not a friar need to possess!" (Curiously, in more recent
times some Arab publications have attributed the rape of Filipina domestic
workers in the Middle East to the women's supposedly short - knee-length -
skirts, even though by Western standards both Filipinas and their clothing
are fairly conservative.) Closer to home, historian Deborah Gray White says
that in the Old South “Black… women were thought to have such insatiable
sexual appetites that they had to go beyond the boundary of their race to
get satisfaction.”
But the glory days of the Sleazy White Male are long gone. The abolition of
slavery, the erosion of the sexual double standard for White women, and the
growing social acceptance of interracial marriage have taken the SWM out of
mainstream society. Today he's by and large relegated to the realm of the
sexual deviant, whether the criminal (such as Gary Heidnick, the
Philadelphia serial killer of several Black women) or the kinky eccentric
(like the Italian-American politician in San Francisco who had Black
prostitutes give him oral sex and call him Daddy). Right now the closest
equivalent of yesterday's SWM is the North American, European or Middle
Eastern man who engages in sexual tourism in Third World countries, even if
unlike his predecessors he usually has to pay to assuage his carnal
appetites.
The Political Activist
But the PA's actions are greeted with uneasiness at best and hostility at
worst by many people of colour. Most rightly doubt that intermarriage is
going to solve the problem of racial discrimination, given that five
centuries of race mixing in places as diverse as the Philippines, the
Caribbean, Latin America and even the good old U.S. of A. haven't eliminated
the advantages held by White or White-looking people vis-à-vis those with
darker complexions. Carol Camper, an African-Canadian writer who was
herself once married to a White man, suggests that under the Political
Activist's leftist, socially conscious exterior lurks a Sleazy White Male.
Some Whites who married Blacks in the 1970's, she says, were motivated by
the desire to experience a so-called “exotic” lifestyle.
Finally, as I've mentioned in previous articles, the very noble wish to
eliminate racism just isn't by itself a very solid basis for a relationship
with an individual. Take the case of a White man I'll call Ron. The
minister of a liberal Protestant church, Ron married a Black woman named
Marie in order to set an example of interracial harmony for his
congregation. Ron and Marie, however, had nearly nothing in common with
regards to anything from temperament to preferred leisure activities to
childrearing philosophies. They divorced four years later. Their
difference in skin color literally paled (pardon the pun) before those in
other areas of life. Ron's mistake lay in choosing a marriage partner on
the basis of her membership in a group rather than her personal qualities.
Of course some people who enter into "political statement" marriages find
they share a good many qualities besides their commitment to racial
equality, and their relationships stand the test of time. But as Ron's
story shows, a political statement alone isn't the best grounds for a
marriage.
The GI Joe
The GI Joe often tries to find his Madame Butterfly through the mail-order
bride business, in which women from Asia, Latin America, and other places
offer themselves as wives to men in industrialized countries. In her essay
“Recipe” (featured in the book The Very Inside: An Anthology of Writing by
Asian and Pacific Islander Lesbian and Bisexual Women), Chinese-Canadian
writer C. Allyson Lee gives a humorous description of the GI Joe's search of
a submissive Asian woman: “Attractive Straight White Male, middle-aged
business executive looking for that special little China Doll, preferably
short, petite and obedient. Object: to fulfill typical fantasies of the
stereotype of Oriental ladies anxious to marry a Canadian in order to get
out of Hong Kong or the Philippines and willing to do anything to pamper and
please her man.”
However, the vast majority of White men married to Asian or Latin American
women did not meet their wives through a mail-order bride outlet (nor is the
mail-order bride business an exclusively White male-minority female
phenomenon, as many such brides are White women from Eastern Europe and some
clients are Japanese men), and most aren't necessarily looking for a Suzy
Wong to lord over. A study in Hawaii, for example, found that White
husbands of Asian women were actually less domineering than their
counterparts with Caucasian wives and that Asian women who married outside
their race weren't any more or less submissive than their in-married
sisters. Similarly, according to a study on interracial marriages in the US
as a whole, Asian women married to White men were more likely than White
women in same-race marriages to work, which challenges the notion that
Caucasian men with Asian partners are looking for a June Cleaver
incarnation. When faced with scientific studies, the GI Joe, like most
stereotypes, falls flat on his face.
I'll end the discussion by describing a real-life White man in an
interracial relationship. My cousin Bill is engaged to a Korean woman.
She's an engineer with a thriving career, so if he's looking for a geisha
girl, he's barking up the wrong tree. Nor does he seem to be making a
political statement, especially as nowadays interracial marriage, especially
Asian-White marriage, isn't the hotbed of controversy it once was (in fact,
a very conservative White woman I knew, a traditional Catholic woman who
thought the local abortion provider was more evil than King Herod, told me
she'd be delighted to see her daughter marry a Chinese man). And the fact
that Bill is planning to marry his Korean fiancée disqualifies him as a
Sleazy White Male, although most White men involved in interracial
relationships that don't lead to marriage aren't necessarily SWM's either.
My feeling is that once interracial relationships become more commonplace
and more accepted, stereotypes about people who engage in them will
gradually disappear. This is kind of what's happened with the Sleazy White
Male, for example. Now that White women aren't confined by the same sexual
straightjackets as they were in the past, a naturally sleazy White man can
just as easily satisfy his urges with a White woman as with one of another
race. The same goes for the Political Activist: with the growing public
acceptance of interracial marriage, aspiring PA's of either sex will find,
perhaps to their disappointment, that marriage to a minority won't create a
stir among anyone other than the extreme right wing (and even here there's a
big question mark; for example, Terry Nichols, Timothy McVeigh's
partner-in-crime in the bombing of the Oklahoma City federal building, was
married to a Filipina).
Of course we don't know how the future of interracial relationships and the
stereotypes that accompany them is going to unfold. There's even a chance
that mixed-race unions could be stigmatized all over again. As a sociology
professor once said, history is not an upward straight line of progress. In
the early days of the Netherland's colonization of South Africa, for
instance, relationships between Dutchmen and native women were socially
accepted; later, though, such unions were prohibited by law (until the
abolition of apartheid, they fell under the so-called Immorality Act). But
it seems that given current social trends, those who find stereotypes of
interracial sex interesting, thought-provoking and even amusing should enjoy
them while they can.
In a previous essay on interracial sex, I describe several stereotypes of
White women who sleep with men of color. As the essay mentions, White
female-minority male sex has always been more controversial than sex the
other way around, at least in North America. Even in extremely racist
societies, like the Old South, White women who consorted with men of other
races risked punishment ranging from ostracism to public whipping to
indentured servitude, whereas the interracial dalliances of their White male
peers, even if they amounted to rape, were more or less accepted. In fact,
the mother of all racist organizations, the Ku Klux Klan, which was
responsible for the lynching of countless Black men who looked at White
females the wrong way, sometimes included the rape of African-American women
among its terror tactics against the Black population, says writer Dorothy
Roberts.
The Sleazy White Male (SWM) is a White man who goes after women of color for
sex and nothing but. His behavior is frequently motivated by the belief
that White women are naturally asexual and meant for marriage and
motherhood, not unbridled sexual activity. With women of other races,
though, he can give free rein to his baser instincts. In some ways the
Sleazy White Male is the male equivalent of the Slut, the White woman who
consorts with men of color. But like male fornicators, adulterers and other
sexual transgressors, the SWM faces much less criticism than she does. As
long as his relationships with minority women don't get too serious, they're
usually tacitly tolerated and at times even encouraged. In the Old South,
for instance, it was said that a boy did not become a real man until he had
sex with a Black woman.
The Political Activist (PA) is the male equivalent of the female stereotype
of the same name. Like her, he sees marriage to a minority, especially a
Black, as a means of fighting racism. Such a union also helps him expiate
his guilt over the privileges he enjoys on account of not only his skin
color but his gender and, more often than not, social class (most PA's are
middle or upper rather than lower class).
The GI Joe is a White man who seeks out minority women to recover the ideals
of femininity, wifely devotion, and self-sacrifice that his own women have
supposedly left by the wayside in their rush out of the home and into the
workplace. Usually his targets are Asian women (thanks in part to movies
such as The World of Suzie Wong and plays like Miss Saigon), although Latin
American women are also sometimes portrayed as more "domestic" than the
average White American woman. Interracial marriage gives the GI Joe a taste
of the Father Knows Best lifestyle familiar to him only through re-runs of
old sit-coms.
Emily Monroy lives in Toronto, Ontario, CanadaAlso by Emily Monroy:
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