INTERRACIAL VOICE

Essay

A Multiracial View on the 09/11/01 Disaster
By Lee (Leah) Swift

No, I wasn't running from collapsing buildings, thick gray smoke or unidentified flying debris on September 11th. I have a feeling that many people believe that most New Yorkers were trying to escape from the WTC disaster. It would probably make an interesting story but I wasn't in the area. My experiences weren't much different from most people in this country. All I know was this incomprehensible disaster was horrendous and it also hit too close to home.

I remember that day. I guess I'll never forget it. It was an exceptionally beautiful, warm autumn day and the sky was crystal clear. The day started out like any other day except I was in a better than average mood.

On September 11th, I started working at the computer around 8:30 am. Suddenly, I noticed a few of my coworkers standing in a room close to where I was working. They were all mesmerized in front of the television screen. For some strange reason nobody was saying anything. I saw my coworkers but I couldn't see or hear the TV. I continued with my work but then I noticed that the crowd grew larger. "No," I said to myself. Something was wrong. Why were all those people standing in the room and why weren't they saying anything? I decided to get up to see what was going on. When I entered the room, some of the workers looked horrified with their mouths open while the others were totally expressionless. I turned to the television screen. I joined my other coworkers in a frozen stance. I saw the top of one of the Twin Towers on fire. One of the tall silver buildings had a humongous hole in it with an orange fire and black smoke surrounding it.

My first reaction was confusion. I thought this couldn't be happening. It looked like a disaster movie and then I was wondering what this type of movie was doing on at this time of day. I slowly convinced myself that something really horrible had happened. One of the Twin Towers was really on fire. All these things were rushing inside of my mind over and over. The television announcer clarified the situation by saying that an airplane flew into the World Trade Center. We were all horrified. One of my coworkers shouted out that there must be something wrong with the air traffic control units. I guess we were all hoping it was a terrible mistake but no one was brave enough to utter the word "terrorists."

I didn't know it at the time but it was the beginning of the nightmare for that day. After a while I realized that I was at work and I could no longer stand in front of the TV. I decided to go back to work but it was so difficult.

Suddenly a few minutes later another crowd gathered in the room again. I was thinking that something else must have happened. What more could have happened? When I hurried into the room the television was showing a replay. A small plane went into the second World Trade Center tower. Immediately a coworker yelled out "This must be a terrorist act. It has to be!" She slammed her fist in her other hand. She made no eye contact with anyone and she quickly left the room. Nobody disagreed with her. We remained silent but we were still stunned. We continued to stare in disbelief at the screen. No, this couldn't be happening again. We still couldn't understand what was going on. Over and over again the images of the two planes hitting the World Trade Center appeared on the screen. I thought that maybe this was a long nightmare and I would finally wake up but unfortunately I was fully conscious.

All of a sudden another coworker walked in the room; she glance at the TV for the first time. Within a few seconds her eyes turned red and filled with tears. She cried, "My sister's up there! She works in the first tower....on the upper floor!!" I couldn't believe what she was saying. I could hardly comprehend what was going on and now this. Another coworker and I quickly took her away from the room and we brought her into another room. What would be the right words to say to her at this moment when we were so confused ourselves? What magical words could we use to soothe her? The only option we chose was hope. "Maybe she got down the stairs and she got out," we said to her. We tried to reason with her but it was difficult. I suggested that she try calling her sister on the telephone "You don't understand" she said. "My sister can't talk!!"

There was dead silence. What a predicament. This was not the time to ask her what was wrong with her sister. We encouraged her to call a family member. She decided to call her parents. Fortunately, her parents were both home but they did not hear from her sister. We all knew it was too early to make any conclusions. At this time many people were probably running down the stairs in the WTC buildings. We told her she should go home but for some reason she wanted to stay at work. She felt it would be easier to communicate with her family members if she stayed in one place. We felt we shouldn't discourage her if that was what made her feel better. She left the room with us and struggled to continue working.

The day didn't get better. The thoughts running across my mind were that I hoped most of the people in the towers had time to get out but I knew there were going to be casualties.

Later the phones in our building no longer worked. Then the cell phones ceased working. The only communication we had was our radio and the television set. It was eerie. We could no longer communicate with the outside world. I heard on the radio that the bridges were blocked and the subways were not working. New York City was officially in a state of emergency and totally immobile. We were helpless within our city and most of us never felt this way before.

The hardest part of the day was when I looked back at the TV and I saw the first tower collapse like a stack of cards. This time I saw the disaster on live TV. I heard others around me repeat the words "I can't believe this..... I can't believe this...... All those people didn't have enough time to get out." Then suddenly the second tower caved in. It was a traumatic moment for us all. Thousands and thousands of innocent people were trapped in the buildings and there was not enough time to save them. Most of them were only going to work like I was. Why should something like this happen to them? I knew that even though I may not know anyone who works in the World Trade Center at this time, I knew I would later know someone who does. I realized that in a few days there will be many stories told and many stories that will never be told.

Well, as one knows, the events didn't get any better. At this time it was only a "New York incident." Those two magnificent buildings which I ignored everyday had disappeared within a few minutes from my familiar New York City horizon. Later on we held our breaths as more airplanes were being hijacked in other parts of the country. One airplane hit the Pentagon, and then another crashed somewhere in Pennsylvania. When was all this madness going to end? Has it finally ended? We were all terribly upset.

If there was a happy ending to this day it was that my coworker heard from her parents about her sister. Her sister was on the lower floors. She took the elevators down before they were shut off. Her sister was safely home within two hours after the first disaster.

It's ironic but the events of this day, to me, were somewhat similar to the events of Pearl Harbor. The Japanese used the same method of using humans as aircraft bombs on American territory.

During WW II, my mother's family was on the enemy's side and my father's family was on the US side. It was the aftermath of war that brought them together. I realize that my father never spoke about the war but I heard my mother's stories about the W.W.II. I realized at a young age that it was only innocent people who suffer from war and not their leaders.

My parents were on different sides of the war so I viewed both sides. For some reason I felt I should remain neutral. I have viewed documentaries on Japanese Americans who were put in concentration camps in California during W.W.II. I could image how they must have felt. They believed they were Americans but they must have came to the realization that America does not really consider all its citizens as Americans. At the same time I could understand how angry Americans were at Japan when many Americans were killed at Pearl Harbor.

There is a certain uniqueness of being biracial and from two different ethnic groups. I feel I can see the world from two different viewpoints and understand both views. I may also view the hypocrisy within two different groups. From the World War II prospective, I could see from the eyes of Americans and also from the eyes of the Japanese at the same time.

I also briefly thought that Arabic people may become a new scapegoat for America. How will America handle "Arab looking" people? I was truly hoping the Arabic people would not be the new victims to be racially profiled. Will America learn from what was done in W.W.II or will the past repeat itself? Right now, I was very tired and the only thing that concerned me was a way to get home.

At the end of the day, it smelled like there was a fire in our building but I was told that it was the residue from the WTC disaster. I started walking out of the building. The day was finally coming to the end. When I got outside I took a long deep breath and I stopped in front of the stairs. The air was warm but it had a pungent odor to it. The sun was setting and the sky was dark blue with a strange pinkish hue in the horizon. I briefly glanced up and I saw an elongated black cloud traveling from the left. That was the eerie cloud of smoke from the World Trade Center that everyone was talking about.

When I peered over the road in front of my building I couldn't believe how the atmosphere of the street had changed from the morning. I noticed that the street was empty, completely closed and filled with policemen. How could my somewhat peaceful world in the morning change into a world of uncertainty within a few hours? I was now in a solemn mood. It was probably the longest day I had ever experienced. Perhaps my once peaceful life has also changed forever...... Since the subways were not working I decided to proceed on my long dreary bus rides home........